If I can, I'll dance till the last moment of my life.

It certainly isn't easy being a dancer; exhilarating - yes, fulfilling - completely, rewarding - always, but never easy. It's not easy when you're in rehearsals until 11pm at night, or when you're pushing your body as hard as you can six days a week, it's not easy when you're putting bruised and battered feet into pointe shoes for five hours straight, or when your pointe shoes have died and you can't afford a new pair,  it's not easy when you're going from audition to audition surrounded by a hundred other talented hopefuls just as deserving of the job, it's not easy when you miss your friend's birthday (because dance isn't a nine to five job, but an all-consuming career, a life), or when you get injured and you're feeling seven hundred different emotions at once; guilt, fear, anger, panic, uncertainty, self-pity, self-hated, despair, isolation... it's not easy when your best isn't good enough (there are always those days), or when your brain won't switch off in your little spare and you're still thinking about all the choreography you've got to learn, it's not easy when you're not happy with your progress because nothing less than perfect is expected, or when your muscles are so tight that every movement is taxing... it's not easy.   

(Somehow) It's still worth it though, but it's little wonder why many of us who try to make it as professional dancers sometimes wish we'd just make life easier for ourselves and stop. Do something else.

Every full-time dancer at some point entertains the idea of walking out of class, away from angry teachers and sore feet, throwing out the hairspray and saying goodbye to headache-inducing buns, endless ribbon sewing,  and the permanent state of poverty. Choosing an 'easy' job where your weekends are free and you can eat doughnuts and go skiing, or even just ride a bike without feeling guilty! At the end of the day though, a life without dance isn't really an option for those who love it, dance is such a significant part of our lives that it's absence would leave a hole impossible to fill. It's our driving force, our passion and our momentum, our release and inspiration - it's every beautiful moment, breath-taking memory and heart-stopping feeling personified - it's the best of life.

It's rare to see a video that acknowledges the internal struggles that dancers face though, and this is a lovely exception, we hope you enjoy it.

X

“If I can, I’ll dance till the last moment of my life.”

Transcript 

I'm Kelly. 29. I'm a dancer.

I think it doesn't matter who you are, about life, we should never give up what we love the most.

I really love dancing. In the moment of dancing, you can connect with your true self. You can feel your hands, your feet, your heart. You can feel every beat of the music. I can just be myself. It's pressure free. I just have to do what I do—dance my dance. It's happiness, it's real.  

I've tried to stop doing what I love before, due to a lot of difficulties, and the realities of life.

They'll make you stop doing what you love the most everyday. I've been seriously injured before, and I have also realised you cannot make money out of dance.

You never know if dance can become your career, whether you can make a living with it. So I tried to stop dancing. I decided to just teach and work on commercial pieces, hoping to give myself a stable income.  

I thought if I don't dance, I'll merely be not doing an activity that I love. But when I stopped dancing, I realised that I couldn't feel myself, I couldn't feel anything in life. That's why I knew that I had to keep dancing, I needed to go back to dance.

If I become injured, then I'll have to take good care of it; if i don't have money, then I'll just have to work harder, so that I can focus on dancing.  

As of the present, dance feels more like having a holiday for me. I can rest only with dance. Letting my body and my heart take a rest. Allowing myself to do something that I love the most.

If I have a chance to not do anything else, except to dance, that'll be the most luxurious thing ever.

If I can, I'll dance till the last moment of my life.